Learning to communicate with love
by Char Mada —
Love is the most powerful force in the universe. Love heals all. According to the Beatles, it is “all you need.” Other songwriters refer to love as a many splendored thing, an addictive force, what the world needs now and the only thing that there is just too little of.
Love also can be a powerful tool for learning to communicate effectively. By using the letters of the word as an acronym (Listening, Observing, Verifying, Empathizing), you can improve your communication skills and enhance your relationships.
Listening: Are you really listening to what the other person is saying to you, or are you just waiting for them to finish talking so you can express your opinion?
Listening — and really hearing what someone is saying to us — is one of the most effective tools of communication. Listening sends a subconscious signal to the person speaking that they are important and worthy of your time.
Observing: How well do you observe the body language, tone of voice and facial expressions a person uses when talking to you?
All relate to your ability to effectively communicate with others. Likewise, be aware of the silent messages you send out while listening or talking to others. Do you make eye contact or roll your eyes? One small gesture can make all the difference in relaying and understanding messages effectively.
Verifying: Did you really hear and understand what the other person was saying, or did you listen half-heartedly and draw your own conclusions?
An effective way to check that you are really understanding, and being understood, is a technique called mirroring. This involves saying back to the person, “What I am hearing you say is …” Use of mirroring can help you avoid communication errors and ensures that both people in a conversation are on the same page.
Empathizing: Do you make an effort to be compassionate regarding the information the other person is conveying to you?
It helps to imagine yourself in their situation and use your intuition to sense what emotions are connected with the subject they are discussing. Everyone appreciates a little bit of understanding and validation.
By using the L.O.V.E. method for effective communication, we can enhance all the relationships in our lives. The Beatles did say it best: “All you need is love.”
Char Mada is a certified spiritual counselor who teaches classes in angel communication, spirituality and healing.
Reprinted from AzNetNews, Volume 23, Number 1, February/March 2005.